A sequel four years in the making! (For the original post, go here.)

This year has already been a good one for movies that I loved or have quickly grown to love despite the relentless negativity of the majority of the populace. Add that together with the past four years, and I've built up enough new movies that I love despite most people hating them to finally do another one of these posts. There are even a couple of older flicks that made the cut this time because I either love them more now than I did in 2005, or other people resoundingly hate them far more now.

Appropriately, most of the movies in this sequel are sequels themselves!

( Enough chatter. Let the cascade of images from movies I love commence! )

Now all I have to do is make a sequel to "Loved by Most, Hated by Me" and we'll REALLY be up to speed.

I could probably easily do one of these posts for video games, too. The only problem is nobody would care because it would be hard to recognize screenshots from games that most people hated. Alas.

A little part of me died inside when I saw James Cameron and Sigourney Weaver appearing together, in public, on the schedule for this year's San Diego Comic-Con.

I don't REALLY want to battle the obscene crowds that I met at my last visit yet again. And yet... and yet... Jim and Sigourney... I love you guys!!!

Check out the new DVD cover for Near Dark:



Nevermind that Near Dark is a hard-edged vampire classic with all the gore that that implies. Nevermind that the GIRL is the vampire who hooks up with the HUMAN GUY. Nevermind that the vampires in this movie are never pale like that and sure as HELL never have golden freaking eyes. Nope, the gods of Twilight have infected a movie that's about 20 years old, and the only way to purge the infection is with fire.

If this actually gets some Twilight Tweens to watch a "real" vampire movie, then cool, but I can't imagine they'd LIKE it. Then again, maybe it's funnier if some girly girl rents Near Dark expecting a romantic ripoff and winds up freaked out of her mind.

What's the natural endpoint of this? Do we start advertising From Dusk 'Til Dawn with Twilight-style imagery? Juliette Lewis can be Bella!

For the record this movie - which takes place in TEXAS, not Washington state - isn't all that cloudy, either.

My feelings on G.I. Joe: The Rise of COBRA have been wavering. On the one hand, I thought the first trailer looked awesome. On the other hand, the newest trailer looks kinda wack. On the one hand, having an actually Scottish-accented Destro is genius, and the way they're bringing in the mask sounds fucking awesome. On the other hand, wait, Baroness isn't Russian? But then again, on the other hand, her new backstory is pretty cool...

The closer the movie gets, the more I'm realizing that I'm kind of a G.I. Joe nerd. This is something of a revelation: I honestly had no idea I cared this much. The discovery of my geekery over G.I. Joe has in turn served to fuel my excitement for the film, though, so I guess it's all good.

I was in Target on my lunch break today, and when I saw the movie's toy line on the shelf - designed in the '80s style and scale - I almost drooled on them. I immediately started looking through the rack and geeking over the coolness of the Destro, the Duke, the Shipwreck (!), even Cover Girl. No Scarlett amid the ranks yet, though. I know she's in the movie and Shipwreck isn't - he's only in the video game, so what the hell guys.

I guess I'm pretty excited about it. Everybody on the Internet has already declared it a steaming pile of crap for reasons I can't fathom, though. People bitch about the accelerator suits (which were taken right from G.I. Joe: Sigma 6) and the fact that the team is now an international force (which is ALWAYS how they've been portrayed worldwide - only in America did we insist they be purely AMERICAN heroes). They bitch about things, then, that have solid basis in established canon, which means they can fuck right off.

If they make another movie, who else could they bring in, I wonder? My mind reels from the characters that I know they aren't touching in this first one. Dudes, you could use Roadblock and Beachhead! Or Barbecue! Or on the bad guy side, how about Major Bludd? Maybe Tomax and Xamot? Let's avoid Serpentor.

Oh wow, how did this happen?

You know what's awesome?

- Shoving the Wii Nunchuck in front of you to do a FORCE PUSH.

- Reaching out with it, holding down the Z button, and twisting it in the air to FORCE CHOKE someone to death.

- Swinging your Wii Remote around as a LIGHTSABER.

All this and more is yours in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. No, the last of those isn't perfect 1:1 movement - really, it's the nunchuck stuff that's the most satisfying. Oh, did I mention you can hit the C button to fry people with Force Lightning, and also levitate any object in the environment, flinging it in any direction - including right into your enemies to kill them? And there's a whole lot more where that came from. Believe me.

It's not just the gameplay that's a blast - it's the storyline, which is probably one of the best tales I've heard in the Star Wars "Extended Universe." I think I need to read the novel now. And here I was so hyper-skeptical about the whole "Vader's secret apprentice" bullshit. I just didn't realize they could ever pull it off this well.

Some people complained that the game was repetitive. Sure it is, but who fucking cares when you're repeatedly doing things that are THIS MUCH AWESOMELY FUN?

Oh, and there's two endings depending on a decision you make at the end of the very last level, but I got the good one because I'm not controlled by stupid. It'd be really really easy to ACCIDENTALLY get the bad one and then have the game restart and erase your save, though, so I feel bad for anyone who accidentally thinks the bad ending is the only ending. That would blow hard.

All right so yeah, games I've beaten this year, let's kick this shit in.

Games I've Beaten

The Incredible Hulk (DS)
Professor Layton and The Curious Village (DS)
Wario Land: Shake It! (Wii)
Sonic the Hedgehog (SMS - VC)
Hotel Dusk: Room 215 (DS)
World of Goo (Wii)
Boom Blox (Wii)
Street Figher Alpha 3 (DC)
Kirby's Air Ride (GC)
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood (DS)
Sonic Unleashed (Wii)
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (SMS - VC)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Sacrifice (DS)
Sonic and The Black Knight (Wii)
Dead Rising: Chop 'Till You Drop (Wii)
The King of Fighters EX: Neo Blood (GBA)
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity (Wii)
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (GBA)
The Terminator (Sega CD)
Doom 3 (Xbox)
Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (DS)
Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles (Wii)
House of the Dead: Overkill (Wii)
Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis (DS)
Neo Contra (PS2)
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Wii)
Iron Man (DS)

Personal Update: Had wonderful extended weekend with Maria. I think I could happily live at home with her pretty much every day and never get tired of it. Alas, it's too soon/we're too poor for us to retire into such a life. Guess we'll just have to cuddle up and enjoy our nights and weekends to the best of our shared ability.

Geeky Update: Nimród Antal, director of that Luke Wilson/Kate Beckinsale thriller Vacancy, has oficially been signed to director Predators, the Robert Rodriguez-produced entry into the Predator franchise that could be a sequel, a reboot, both, neither, I don't know, it's something. Really unfortunate name, that. I mean... dude's first name is Nimród.

I got cussed out by some dude in a Taco Bell parking lot, then the clerk at Borders was sullen and grouchy, and I'm starting to think today is National Pissed Day and I missed the announcement. Celebrate your own hatred of everyone else, America!

First 90 Minutes: SO awesome. Better than the entire first film. Bay finally let us focus the camera on the fucking ROBOTS, because that's who we care about, and thank god for that small favor.

Remaining 60 Minutes: SO boring and poorly plotted and incomprehensibly shot from the moment Agent Simms comes back onward. OMGWTF, just end the fucking movie!

Love For: Optimus Prime, badder than ever. "You're Optimus Prime. You don't need my help." THE FOREST SCENE, holy shit that was amazing. The newly developed relationship between Megatron and Starscream. "Even in death, there is no rule BUT MINE!" The library conversation between Sam & Mikaela - LOL. Sam's dad finally getting emotional over his son.

Did We Really Need: 5 comic relief characters who could've easily been condensed into ONE? Leo should've been left at the college, Skids & Mudflap suck and need deletion, and Simms was useless/annoying. The scene with Sam's mom and the brownies? The second dog for Mojo to hump? The endless-length running sequence in the desert when, hello, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A CAR.

Overall: Entertaining, cool, then stupid & annoyingly overlong. Black flag on the last lap, but broke some lap records on the way at least.

When dontevenknow first told me about the book My Sister's Keeper, it sounded like it had a pretty compelling hook: A little girl named Anna who was born and raised primarily to function as an organ farm for her older cancer-ridden sister, Kate, decides to sue her parents for autonomy over her own body. Of course, doing so will likely put her sister in mortal danger, and Anna DOES love her sister. Hence the interesting question there.

But then she told me how the book ended, which prompted her to ask the eternal question of "Geez, why'd you even tell me this story, grandpa?" And it seems she wasn't alone - an online search for discussions and reviews of the novel echo her thoughts in an endless chorus. The overwhelming opinion is that author Jodi Picoult came up with an intriguing concept, then chickened out and turned bitch on the last lap.

Now there's a movie based on the book that's hitting theaters this weekend. It's been said that the ending is different than the book's - which has caused some purists to cry foul, but I would argue that when you deal with source material that is widely held to be patently terrible, there isn't much room to complain about fidelity to that awfulness (see also: Hannibal). Anyway, spoiler-filled reviews of the film have revealed the new ending. And it is, while not as depressing as the novel's, EVERY bit as chickenshit when it comes to actually dealing with the moral questions the story raises.

Why? Because both the book and the movie share a plot twist that renders the main conceit irrelevant. The book may take it in an even worse direction in the last few pages, YES, but they're both guilty of raising a compelling concept, only to chuck it out the window.

( Spoilers for both versions. )

So you see that, regardless of which version of My Sister's Keeper you are exposed to, you still wind up with no actual decision made on the moral question raised by the core concept. Indeed, both incarnations choose to say "Fuck it, it doesn't matter" before turning tail and running in the other direction, giggling all the while.

I submit to you that you should probaly avoid all versions of the tale, and save yourself the bother.

Seriously.

I suspect this is just a ploy to get more ratings. 10 films gives them a TON of leeway that they can use to fill in some spaces with actual box-office hits instead of just art flicks, which will in turn result in Average Joe caring more about the Oscars because he actually saw one or two of the movies up for the big award. Granted, no way in hell will Star Trek WIN Best Picture of 2009, but at this point I fully expect to see it nominated just as an attention grab.

Shooting first, asking questions later & dying repeatedly since 1987.

Games I never played are left out.

Contra (Arcade) - Love/Hate, Leaning Towards Love
Contra (NES) - Mostly Love, Tiny Bit o' Hate
Super C (NES) - Love/Hate, Leaning Towards Love
Contra Force (NES) - Love
Operation C (Game Boy) - Love
Contra III: The Alien Wars (SNES) - Love/Hate In Equal Measure
Contra: Hard Corps (Genesis) - Hate
Contra: Shattered Soldier (PS2) - Hate
Contra 4 (DS) - Hate
Neo Contra (PS2) - Love

The "hate" all stems from the difficulty level and how hard it can be to avoid shit, considering it ALL kills you in ONE HIT. Some games being tougher than others, obviously.

The "love" stems from the glee of blasting everything in fucking sight and giggling at the mayhem unleashed by my weapony as shit BLOWS UP REAL GOOD.

1) You thought the first "Mario vs. Donkey Kong" was a little TOO addictively entertaining, and would like to see a sequel that throws all that ingenious platforming right out the window.

2) You've spent the past 17 years pining for some sort of unofficial sequel to Krusty's Fun House.

3) You thought Lemmings would've been a lot better if they got rid of all that "job assignment" bullshit and just focused on marching morons that you had to direct towards an exit.

4) You really want to know what happened to Pauline after the original Donkey Kong game. (ProTip: Her and Mario became "just friends" and remained close during the years after their breakup. There, I saved you 30 bucks.)

Honestly, MvDK2 isn't a BAD game, it's just not remotely a patch on what came before it. "Mario vs. Donkey Kong" was a great title for the Game Boy Advance that functioned as a sequel to "Donkey Kong '94" for the Super Game Boy, which was a PHENOMENAL title. MvDK2 isn't even remotely as good as either of its predecessors. It ditches all the platformer/puzzle mechanics in favor of directing an army of wind-up toys towards an exit using the stylus. It's a puzzler, sure, but there isn't really platforming to speak of. It's basically just a matter of moving blocks or switches to get to the end. It's amusing ENOUGH, but it never really rises above "crazy-easy" and has none of the depth or charm of the earlier games. Plus it's over a helluva lot faster, to boot.

To make matters worse, remember how Mario was always talking or muttering to himself in the GBA predecessor? That game probably had the most voice acting of any Mario title to date. Well, that's all gone. In fact, so are all the cut scenes of him chasing after DK in which he did all that talking. In fact, calling it "Mario vs. Donkey Kong" is kind of a misnomer, since Mario himself barely even plays into the game - it's mostly just the army of toys chasing after Donkey Kong and Pauline. Mario is totally absent outside of the opening & closing cut scenes, save for a cameo during the final battle. What a lazy punk.

On Smallville, as we head into season nine, Clark has already fought most of his major Superman villians.

- Lex Luthor (obviously)
- Brainiac
- General Zod
- Bizarro
- Mxyzptlk
- Toyman
- Doomsday
- Maxima (who is, was, and always will be lamesauce)
- Highly gimped version of Parasite
- EXTREMELY gimped Livewire

In fact, by the time they whipped out DOOMSDAY, I was saying "I can't believe they haven't done Metallo yet... "

Guess who's coming to season 9?

Brian Austin Green (woot) as Metallo. He's already signed for two episodes at the season's start, with an option for more later.

So now, if the show makes it to season 10, what do they do for a grand finale? Half-ass a TV incarnation of Darkseid? I mean, there's not much else LEFT, fellas. Mongul? Conduit? Fuck those clowns. It's pretty much Darkseid or bust after this.

If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

After the awesome success of The Dark Knight and the cliffhanger at its conclusion, a third film seems inevitable. I'm sure it is, but don't expect to see director Christopher Nolan back again. The word is that he's incredibly intimidated by following up one of the biggest hits in human history, and would prefer to just produce while someone else takes the reins. Can't blame him - backlash is inevitable regardless of how good it is. The rumors state that part of the reason for this decision is that he wanted Joker to return in the third installment, and those ambitions are, if not impossible, at least unseemly now.

I maintain that the obvious follow-up is to bring back Two-Face. I could even write you a general layout of how I'd pull it off right now, but I'm not going to go that far into fanfic. At least not in this post. Maybe later.

Congratulations! You're Skynet, and you just eliminated the human race! You know what that means, right? John Connor can SUCK IT!

...

Okay, genius. Now what?

Poll #1416702 WWSD?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What would Skynet do if it actually killed all humans? Choose any you think would happen.

Maria went away for the weekend into the deep woods full of raccoons and bobcats. She did some river rafting and camping and luckily she came back yesterday. I'm really glad to have her back. It was a lonely weekend with just me and the cats - granted, I wasn't inside the apartment the WHOLE time, but still. I've grown accustomed to seeing a pretty girl running around our place. And now I get to see that again. But she's all sunburned and in agony, and that is sad. So I think it's a good thing I'm there to take care of her. Another benefit to living together, right there.

I spent a lot of my weekend playing video games, primarily of the Wii persuasion. Finally got into "Star Wars: The Force Unleashed," and I love it. The amount of powers at your disposal is crazy, and I even love the characters of our "Secret Apprentice" - code name: Starkiller - his wacky robot sidekick PROXY and his pilot/love interest Juno. I tore about 2/3 of the way through the game over the weekend, and am looking forward to ther remainder.

Also played about half of "Trauma Center: New Blood" and I officially need to walk the hell away from that franchise until they make it less frustratingly difficult. I appreciate what they're trying to do, and it's fun for a while, but once you reach vague or illogical surgeries that are inadequately explained and brutally timed, the fun leaks out.

Here’s a quick rundown of some of my favorite game franchises and where they stand at current, in the post-E3 world.

The Legend of Zelda: In private, at E3’s “Miyamoto Roundtable,” they showed off the first artwork from the next Zelda game for Wii. Shortly AFTER E3, they released the art to the public. Miyamoto said “You may notice Link isn’ t carrying a sword.” However, given how he’s talked about integrating swordplay with Wii MotionPlus, I don’t think he’s trying to tell us Link won’t HAVE a sword in the game. Theory: Maybe the mysterious blue girl turns INTO the sword? Also, of course, they showed off a lot more gameplay from The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks for the DS. It’s obviously running off the same engine as Phantom Hourglass, so nothing here will blow your mind.

Metroid: Along with the obvious reveal of Metroid: Other M, the guy behind the series said in an interview with IGN that he still hopes to make Metroid Dread one day. I hope so too. Classic side-scrolling Metroid action for the win, yo. Reggie, infamous President of Nintendo of America, noted that Other M is going to be a more traditional Metroid game that harkens more back to the Super Metroid style of play than the “Prime” series did, but with more of the linear stuff of Metroid Fusion.

Sonic: No new Sonic platformers this year? What the hell, Sega? Instead, we get Mario & Sonic at the Olympic WINTER Games (okay, the first one was pretty fun) and also, the all-new… Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing. Despite the logical connection between the speedy hedgehog and racing, the combination has never worked out as well as it should. I mean the Sonic Drift games were disappointing, Sonic R was average and largely still disappointing, Sonic Riders sucked outright and Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity was GREAT… as long as you weren’t a “flying-type” character, which had near-impossible level shortcuts. Can we do better now that we’re in cars and planes, and tossing in outsiders like Nights and AiAi in the process? Oh, I hope. It would be cool to have a Mario Kart-style game with the Sega lineup. But... what does SONIC need with a CAR?

Mega Man: No new Mega Man games, alas, BUT! Tatsunoko vs. Capcom: Ultimate All Stars is a Wii-exclusive fighting game that’s coming to America at last, and two characters from Mega Man are in the fighting lineup! You have Mega Man (from the “Legends” sub-series) and Roll (from the classic series) at your disposal.

Resident Evil: I ADORED “Umbrella Chronicles” on the Wii, and the sequel, Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles, follows a few games I loved even more in the series, while also taking things in a more freaky-scary direction than the action-heavy first title. Sure, you might argue that rail-based shooters are overdone on Wii, but the Wii does them SO WELL, and Umbrella Chronicles might very well be the BEST of the whole lot. So this is not something to gripe about. Plus the PSP is getting “Resident Evil Portable” next year, which could be… nearly anything, truth be told. Old-style RE? New RE4-style RE? Something totally different? I shrug in befuddlement. But the PSP sure is getting a lot of great franchises these days…

Castlevania: Okay, so we need to talk about Castlevania: Lords of Shadow for the 360 and PS3. This is a game by Hideo Kojima of “Metal Gear Solid” fame. It’s mostly an action title, very much in the “God of War” vein from the looks of it. And oh yeah, one another thing… it didn’t have the word “Castlevania” in the name until very, VERY recently. This was a new, unique game called “Lords of Shadow” that somebody looked at and said “Hey, this kinda reminds me of Castlevania in some ways.” And lo, they then shoehorned it into the franchise. Kinda like Starfox Adventures. Remember that? I loved it, but most people hated it and said it FELT shoehorned into the series. Which is probably because… it was. So we have a combination of action-heavy Castlevania (good), 3D Castlevania (bad) and a game that wasn’t actually a Castlevania game until like, last month (unknown). Hrm. Oh, and heck of an all-star cast, too. I mean, Patrick Stewart in a Castlevania game?

Contra: I have a love/hate relationship with Contra. Contra 4 & Hard Corps were too hard for me to love it, whereas the NES & Game Boy classics are just right for me to love them. Contra III? Somewhere in the middle, but too beautiful not to love even when it’s tough as nails. So anyway, I’m really looking forward to Contra Rebirth on WiiWare, which promises an easier, more accessible game designed with a 16-bit look and feel. Now, you lost all your lives at the boss? You continue right AT THE BOSS! Not the level start! That ALONE will make a world of difference…

Soul Calibur: So with Soul Calibur: Broken Destiny coming to PSP, I have another temptation luring me towards that damn system. Siiiigh. Sure does look good for a PSP game...

Let the record show that both Star Trek and Terminator Salvation improved for me on repeat viewings.

Star Trek feels like a stronger, more cohesive whole when I went back a second time. Terminator is still the weaker film in an overall technical sense, but it is positively LOADED with smart/cool/clever moments, many of which go by too fast on the first viewing. Both remain decidedly pleasurable.