My feelings on G.I. Joe: The Rise of COBRA have been wavering. On the one hand, I thought the first trailer looked awesome. On the other hand, the newest trailer looks kinda wack. On the one hand, having an actually Scottish-accented Destro is genius, and the way they're bringing in the mask sounds fucking awesome. On the other hand, wait, Baroness isn't Russian? But then again, on the other hand, her new backstory is pretty cool...

The closer the movie gets, the more I'm realizing that I'm kind of a G.I. Joe nerd. This is something of a revelation: I honestly had no idea I cared this much. The discovery of my geekery over G.I. Joe has in turn served to fuel my excitement for the film, though, so I guess it's all good.

I was in Target on my lunch break today, and when I saw the movie's toy line on the shelf - designed in the '80s style and scale - I almost drooled on them. I immediately started looking through the rack and geeking over the coolness of the Destro, the Duke, the Shipwreck (!), even Cover Girl. No Scarlett amid the ranks yet, though. I know she's in the movie and Shipwreck isn't - he's only in the video game, so what the hell guys.

I guess I'm pretty excited about it. Everybody on the Internet has already declared it a steaming pile of crap for reasons I can't fathom, though. People bitch about the accelerator suits (which were taken right from G.I. Joe: Sigma 6) and the fact that the team is now an international force (which is ALWAYS how they've been portrayed worldwide - only in America did we insist they be purely AMERICAN heroes). They bitch about things, then, that have solid basis in established canon, which means they can fuck right off.

If they make another movie, who else could they bring in, I wonder? My mind reels from the characters that I know they aren't touching in this first one. Dudes, you could use Roadblock and Beachhead! Or Barbecue! Or on the bad guy side, how about Major Bludd? Maybe Tomax and Xamot? Let's avoid Serpentor.

Oh wow, how did this happen?